


A Moment on the Battlement

by AugustStories



Series: Game of Thrones Season 8 Oneshots [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Episode: s08e02 A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, Jaime Lannister Redemption, Just a sweet moment, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Talk about guilt, episode coda, spoilers for 8x02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 15:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18593998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AugustStories/pseuds/AugustStories
Summary: She found him outside on the battlement, looking like a new person.Brienne and Jaime talk in the hour before the battle.





	A Moment on the Battlement

Brienne found him on the battlement, leaning against the stone and watching the dark night outside of Winterfell and she was surprised that despite the looming doom hanging over their heads, he looked mroe relaxed and at ease than she had ever seen him.

Jaime looked away from the blackness beyond the army camp when she stopped next to him and leaned against the cold stone as well. 

"You're smiling," Brienne noted in unhidden confusion and Jaime actually laughed over it, he straightened up and it was like he was a foot taller than she knew him, his shoulders looking broader than they had before. He seemed younger, stronger. Happier. A weird development just hours from almost certain death. "How much did you have to drink?" She guessed and Jaime snorted, something that only prompted her to furrow her brows further.

"Did you know that you're the first one I ever knighted?" He asked her and Brienne blinked at him, she hadn't exactly thought that he had had boys lining up to be knighted but no one before her, she could hardly believe that and told him as much. "It's true," Jaime nodded though, hip cocked and limbs loose but still standing straight, confident and relaxed but also very much alert of their surroundings. "Who would have wanted to have their kid be knighted by the Kingslayer, not exactly something to be proud of. And after Robert was dead? With Joffrey and his tyranny? And then Cersei and the truth coming out? No one would have wanted Jaime Lannister's sword on their shoulder."

"I did," Brienne found herself saying in an almost instinctual response, especially now where she could still feel Jaime's sword on her shoulders, "I would have." She felt a need to cheer him up because Jaime had always been burdened by more guilt than he should have felt, had been pushed down and hurt because of things his family had caused, not him. He wasn't innocent, he wasn't just a victim, he had made mistakes, too, they all had, but it seemed like everyone was allowed to escape from their monsters and their pasts but him.

Jaime didn't look affected by his words and the emotions behind it now though, he was still smiling, his green eyes were alight with something Brienne had never even seen in them.

Inner Strength.

Faith.

Hope.

"What about before the Rebellion? You were a knight for a few years before the Rebellion started," she pointed out and Jaime laughed again and a big part of her wanted to keep making him laugh. They might as well all be set to die come dawn, so fuck hesitation, fuck being careful, fuck it all.  
"Brienne, I was a green boy. I was a kid still, playing at being fit to stand among the grown ups, sure I was cocky and I thought I could hold up with them but in truth? Who would want to be knighted by the Golden Lion of House Lannister when there were men like Gerold Hightower, or Barristan the Bold. How could my barely bled sword compare to Dawn and the Sword of the Morning?"

And there it was again, the ghost hanging over Jaime's shoulder.

Ser Arthur Dayne.

In their time together she had only needed to talk to him long enough, even without alcohol involved, and sooner or later the man would come up, like a ghost kept on a string and pulled in now and then for a little haunting. Jaime's preferred method of torturing himself.

Tonight though that haunted look of self inflicted pain was gone, and Arthur Dayne's title didn't fall from Jaime's lips anymore like a summoning of ghosts and painful guilttrips. Instead he sounded like a boy swooning over his heroes.

Jaime looked so young suddenly.

"I was the first one he knighted, you know," Jaime spoke up again and Brienne nodded, even though she had heard it from him before, just not in this light note. "The first one, the last one, the only one. He never took on squires, he always said he was too busy looking after Rhaegar's squires. Rhaegar used to say that Arthur was just too picky. I realized the real reason too late, after Arthur was already dead." He talked and it was so easy, no pain in his eyes, no tension in his body, Brienne didn't want him to stop. "He was carrying a great legacy, he wasn't just a great Kingsguard, the deadliest of Aerys' Great Seven. He was also the Sword of the Morning and the Crown Prince's best friend. He was aware that any squire he took on would not only bask in the glory of having been chosen by Dorne's glorious son but also be privy to a lot of secrets. Beyond all the great deeds, the grand title and the living legend status, Arthur was humble and very protective of the people he was close to. He didn't like it when people only saw a title instead of him, the person below the white cloak, that's why I was struggling so long with my guilt. I wasn't knighted by the Sword of the Morning because of good skills, it was Arthur who saw something and made a split second decision. And I never gave that the pride I should have."

"You said 'was struggling,'" Brienne pointed out and Jaime cocked his head slightly to the side, "You used past tense," she emphasized and Jaime's smile grew in size.  
"Yes, I did." Jaime agreed, eyes sparkling, "Brienne, tonight for the first time in decades, I found myself thinking 'Arthur would be fucking proud of me right now.' I let go. I let go of that guilt, I don't hate myself anymore, I'm not ashamed any longer over what I did. I'll never know for sure but I think... I've really come to think that Arthur would have understood, that all of my brothers in white would have understood if I had only gotten to tell them the truth."

It warmed her heart to hear it, to hear him forgive himself, to hear that knighting her, granting her this amazing favor, might have helped in achieving that.

Wanting to keep some lightness around while they were surrounded by so much darkness, Brienne decided to push a little deeper into those good memories Jaime was obviously swimming in. "What would they say about this?" She wanted to know, "Your White Brothers?"  
"They'd be determined to give everything to protect Westeros, beneath the white cloaks they were all knights. They would fight for the living until their last breaths," Jaime said with strong conviction and Brienne couldn't really hold anything against it, he knew those men better than her. He had actually known them, all she had were stories people had told her over time.

"And about our situations here? The... mess of foreign armies and clashing allies?" She redirected her question a little and Jaime snorted, leaning forward again to watch the armies patrol the camp lines below.  
"Well, without wanting to step on anyone's toes, between Lewyn and Arthur, this camp... this army would be a lot more organised, and every woman and child over six would be carrying a dragonglass dagger to protect themselves. Barristan and Gerold would be grumbling over everything but also work until the very last minute on perfecting strategy. Jonothor would be quietly observing but also walking right among the armies, making sure that everyone was concentrated on their tasks, even if it would be resting. And Oswell... most likely sitting back in that room to share stories with Tormund, he had a thing for creepy and weird, probably a consequence of growing up in Harrenhall."

They fell into silence then, both of them staring out over the hills and plains surrounding Winterfell, the distant trees fading into blackness, their ears strained for the sound of a horn.

"I don't want to die tomorrow," Jaime mentioned quietly after a good few minutes and Brienne looked at him again, "but if I do then I can at least say it's with a clean conscience. It's with having done at least one good deed by knighting you. It would be dying for the right thing." She didn't know what to say in response, even if there were a lot of thoughts, she didn't want to die either but if she had to then at least it was for the right cause, the right people.

Jaime surprised her when his fingers brushed against her hand where it was resting on the stone in front of them and Brienne flipped her hand to grasp his. It was such a small gesture and it still meant so much. Jaime had always made it easy to let herself be vulnerable and just be truly herself because he had given her exactly that part of himself.

They didn't do more, didn't say anything more, they just stood there on the battlement of Winterfell, awaiting the battle of their lives, together.


End file.
